Gone

Seething, wretched, diseased,
trapped,
in a labyrinth,
in which no time escapes.
Pinned,
to the earth,
looking up past hedgerows to a stormy black blue sky,
darkness tremens,
held down by the infinitely gargantuan gravity of grief.

Unable to suck it up, another day, another hour, another fucking breath without you.

Shrapnel to the chest.
A gaping wound.
Hands like iron magnets.
Pulled down to earth’s molten core.
Will too broken to care.
To put pressure on this hole.
I’d rather just bleed out,
of my sorry state.
Reeling in the face of your demise.

You gave it all,
then took it back. 

It’s stuck here in my gut,
like a cancer,
this gruelling sense of emptiness.
This surreal, unreal kaleidoscope of unaccepted truth,
of feeling. 

It’s twisting like a snake in there.
Trying to spew out,
my trembling mouth that’s already too full of cries, and salty tears.
I just don’t want to take this home.
I just don’t want to accept.
That your…