I always thought
that I’d seen
felt
touched
endured
the full range of human emotion.
From that war zone
where a guy thrust a gun in my mouth
and the zipped-up-look-cool-while-you-wanna-break-down-in-terror-type feeling
to meeting your mother
and the elation
the fireworks
the overwhelming sense of home.
Then I met you
at your birth
tied to the woman of my dreams
and everything
changed.
A new sense of being
a wave that rolled
in from a distant deep chartless corner of the ocean
of my emotional world.
A growing
expanding
warming
engulfing
feeling
(wow – it’s a whole new emotion – wow).
My emotional spectrum just expanded
with you.
Love.
A Glorious
unfettered
scream-it-from-the-rooftops
-dance a jig
-tell everybody
kind of love.
And I held you
in my hands.
Two hands
your little frame
crying
after I cut your cord
severed you from your mother
frightened
overwhelmed
(my oh my, I could imagine).
And I just stood there
staring
lost
on pause
drowning in incredulity
like a big dumb fool.
So I sang.
“You are my sunshine
My sweet sunshine
You make me happy
Every single day”
and your little dark eyes
looked up at me.
You stopped crying.
Within a heartbeat.
The room went quiet.
It seemed for a moment as if we’d been removed
from that cold NYC-subway carriage-like hospital room
to a distant place
warm and hopeful
glistening and shimmering.
Your little foot stopped.
Your body went limp.
And you stared at me
lost
on pause
swimming in tranquillity.
And my new emotion
danced off.
Out into space.
And somewhere, I like to think,
joined with yours.
And in our emotions
we found peace
each other
and a new
piece
of ourselves.
And in that twist
Life embraced us.
Love fulfilled us.
Our first moment.
PoemsofaDad 